I have been in a writer’s slump…not because my story is over or that I no longer remember…by no means. I am at a crossroad of decision…to remain on the plains of Alabama or move on. I believe, if you have been following this blog, you have a very good idea of how things were. However, I cannot leave Alabama without sharing the most important part of my story…how I came to know Jesus. We have observed Holy Week as well as Resurrection Sunday…a pivotal time of commemoration in the life of a Christian, a Follower and Believer of Jesus. It has been as much a part of me as anything in my story. I often refer to myself as a “pew baby”, meaning I have been “going to church” since I was an infant. My mother was a devout Christian when I was born. When she was not home or at work, she was at the church and I was with her. “My Home Away from Home’ (the picture above) is where it all began. When I was not at school, I was at this building, “O” Street Holiness Church.

Because it was a holiness church, commonly referred to as “sanctified” church, our way of living was different…very different than those around us..the way we dressed, social activities, people associations. We were a motley looking crew…(no make up, long sleeve dresses) very legalistic (adhering excessively to law or formula)…that is living up to standards of outward appearance that could be judged by man. Even though it was always about what not to do than do, and often ridiculed by outsiders, it was all I knew and I loved it, especially worship service. The style of worship was charismatic…body swaying, hand clapping and foot stomping to the rhythmic sound of a bass drum, small brass cymbals and tambourines. There was an upright black piano but no one could play it. What was lacking in musical instruments was made up with blended voices singing loudly to songs that took you away from the struggles of life like…”Glory, glory, hallelujah since I laid my burden down”, “I shall not be moved, like a tree planted by the water”, “Come over here where the table is spread, the feast of the Lord is going on”. “Jesus I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me”, “I’m a royal child adopted in a royal family, kept by the power of God, “Where could I go seeking a refuge for my soul, needing a friend to save me at the end, where could I go but to the Lord”, “If I follow Jesus am I right, I really do believe I am right”…repetitious words, testimonial in nature, song over and over again to a bass drum going boom, boom, ba-boom, boom, boom. I can’t say the sermons were “hell and brimstone”, but they were enough I knew I had to be saved, free from sin to go to heaven and not to hell. More than anything of concern “going to church” to me was being saved.

I was baptized at eight years of age, but struggled with knowing if I was truly saved…free from sin…following all of the rules. I had not heard Romans 3:23 ESV “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Not only that, those looking at the outward appearance deemed you were saved by the edification of speaking in tongues. It never came no matter what I did (according to the rule). Because of it, I was fearful…never a day without fear of going to hell…begging Jesus to forgive and save me…please save me. Was it fear of hell that I remained loyal to the church or was it a true love for Jesus?? I left the plains of Alabama remaining loyal, true to the “man made”, outward appearance convictions, but fearful that any day I would die and go to hell…that is until age nineteen when I had an “AHA” moment.

This is what I know. If you have been reconciled back to God through faith in Jesus, you will not remain ignorant. In a church of like faith, ‘up north’, I heard Romans 3:23. I also heard for the first time, Romans 10:9 ESV “because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. I also heard “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” These were passages of Scripture I had never heard before. Needless to say, I initially thought it was heresy. But then I read it for myself. Not only that, I heard time and time again, God had thrown my sin into the sea of forgetfulness and would not remember my sin as far as the east is from the west…no more. It took time for me to get beyond what I had accepted as truth (the real heresy) and embracing the TRUTH of God’s Word. The chains of bondage were broken and the blinders removed from my eyes…FREE!!! I began to experience life as I had NEVER experienced…”and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”. John 8:32 ESV

At a young people’s retreat (July 1970) during a three day time of fasting, we were all singing and praying together, something very special happened, like an “out of body experience”, I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and received what I now know to be my prayer language. This I Know…it is well with my soul and as I approach seventy-four years of age, I am still in love with Jesus!! HE IS MY EVERYTHING!!

Vivian